april, buttersoft
or the Aurelie 30 2025 microchap
this past April, i engaged in The Aurelie 30 challenge for the first time (also my first successful month-long writing challenge, for what it’s worth). created by Ander Monson in honor of the memory of Aurelie Sheehan, the challenge encourages writers to write (or at least start) something short every day in April. i wrote across a wide swath of genres, and the poems that felt the most tightly linked became april, buttersoft.
this collection feels almost prophetic in hindsight. when i turned 29 at the beginning of 2025, a lot of people warned me of the upheaval that was coming for me and my life—having already radically transformed myself in many ways, i believed there could be no such thing for me. the year that has followed has been, in short, a slow process of continuous grief. 2025 was one of the hardest years of my life. april, buttersoft catalogued this in real time in a way i’m not sure any of my other writing from the year has quite done. time has felt stunted and nothing has been linear, but these poems are the closest i can get to a photograph of the feeling.
praise for april, buttersoft
“With cool, precise syntax across ten little self-discoveries, raum hands the reader a mangy bouquet, but it’s actually all on fire, and now your hair has caught, and you are both the gently burning house and the figure at the kitchen table wondering if repainting the walls will fix everything. Is there a point to rebuilding when destruction is inevitable? april, buttersoft is looking in the mirror one late night, answering.” —Stephanie Anderson, author of SOMEONE ELSE’S FEELINGS
“the ennui of stagnant rage is so familiar to me, and this collection makes me want to walk down to the beach and stare into the sea for hours. it’s gender euphoria as unearthing the unknown, making your own mythology, and a contemplative journey in conversation with their earlier works. i was speaking to someone not long ago about whether or not you can brace yourself for grief, if you can pre-grieve. the answer is front and center in this collection–you sure can try.” —Romy Rhoads Ewing, author of please stay
april, buttersoft is available for free download from Whittle Micro-Press.